CARACHI: Over time, the dynamic changes. What was unacceptable a generation ago has become the norm for today. With the changes comes the need for more conversations. However, even though we live in 2023, desi families are still not ready to have conversations about things they really should be having!
1. Mental health – “Log kya kahenge? »
Mental health is associated with weakness (usually religious) rather than a medical condition. If you want to see a psychiatrist, it will either be considered a waste of money or a threat to your family’s reputation.
2. Domestic violence – “Pitt jana magar kisi ko kuch nahi batana.”
Domestic violence is seen as a private matter rather than a social issue. They don’t talk about it openly because they believe it will bring shame and embarrassment because of which it becomes difficult for people to ask for help. Rather than being a conversation to have with your kids, especially those who are about to get married, this is one of those conversations desi families refuse to have!
3. Sex – “Shhh iske barey hand baat nahi kartey!”
The word itself contains a lot of stigma. It’s good to have sex but you should never talk about it. They believe it is a private matter and talking about it is inappropriate or shameful, making it difficult for people to get much-needed sex education.
Non desi look away.
Desi parents are overprotective about this topic, we never had any sex education or talk about birds and bees. It’s something we have to learn for ourselves https://t.co/I7BJJ2kpbx pic.twitter.com/QQUOiuW0bl— Wafa (@WeekendforWafa) December 12, 2020
4. Periods – “Change channel kardo, pata nahi kya dikhatey hain.“
Periods are still considered taboo. Rather than viewing it as a normal biological process, they associate it with shame and impurity. Especially in front of men. It’s important to break down those walls and create a safe space for honest conversations.
5. Divorce and second marriage – “Chup chap baitho, kis ki shaadi main masley nahi hotey?”
Divorce is associated with disrespect and dishonor. It is as if you have failed as a person instead of realizing that two individuals are not compatible with each other and cannot live together. People are forced to stay in bad marriages because it will bring shame and guilt to their families.
rising divorce rates in a desi country are a good sign as they need to be normalized. women must be able to free themselves from abusive marriages without people despising divorce. breakups and divorces are ugly, but toxic and abusive relationships are even uglier.
— k (@krownnist) July 19, 2019
You would think these conversations were normal, but not for Desi families. Maybe it’s time?
